#NOTFORLIZARDS
COMPANY POLICY UPDATE.
Subject to article 4.5, sub clause 3.21 of the Hotspur trading terms & conditions, it is completely forbidden for a Lizard to purchase a Hotspur product, or even worse, for a normal person to gift a Hotspur product to a Lizard. Quick, firm, decisive action will be taken against anyone who breaks this very important rule.
If you are unsure of what determines a Lizard, here are the main identifying guidelines according to British Military slang:
1. Association with Idleness: The modern use of the term typically compares a soldier's behaviour to that of a reptile. Specifically the tendency to sit still or bask in the sun rather than working. In this context, it is a metaphor for being lazy, idle, or work shy.
2. A Lizard will consistently produce substandard work with little effort or focus.
3. They are poor team players and do not ‘pull their weight’ when required.
4. A Lizard is a consistent low performer.
5. A Lizard always looks a mess, even in the smartest of uniform.
6. A Lizard can be described as socially challenged.
7. Lizards are not allowed to AND do not own Hotspur products.
Personal caution, for your own protection. You are cautioned that prolonged exposure to a Lizard may result in elevated sarcasm levels, spontaneous eye-rolling, and loss of faith in humanity.
If you read this document and feel personally attacked, reassured, or things here are strangely familiar — you are advised to take immediate corrective action, or at least try looking busy.
Report a Lizard in confidence: info@hotspur.co
